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Confessions of an Ex Yo-Yo Dieter

Growing up, I was never fully confident in my skin.

I yo-yoed with my weight more times than I care to remember.

Before I had the curly hair that you see today, I had stick straight baby blonde hair that decided to change to pure frizz for a good 3-4 years.

I had a sweet, little voice from the beginning and wanted to do no wrong. I was naturally shy and a people-pleaser but never at the top of my class.

My actions made it seem so though.

I remember friends thinking I was such a good student.

But, it was all just a show – sort of a barrier I put up so I was associated with being ‘good’ and not called out on for being bad.

That way I could hide.

Hide from attention.

Hide from dealing with things.

Hide from myself.

The truth is, none of it came easily to me.

Life – that is.

It was all tough.

But even from a young age, I had this feeling – a feeling that I was destined for something great, something bigger.

Corny, I know…

But I was a dreamer.

I decorated my childhood bedroom ceiling with glow-in-the-dark stars shaped to spell: “Dream Big”. I’d lie awake in bed at night crafting some sort of plans; I didn’t know what it was, how it was going to come about, or where to look, but I just felt that something bigger was waiting.

Fast-forward a few years: I moved back in with my parents after college.

Sound familiar?

I was burnt out after graduation. Messed up plans along with my own fear of the unknown shattered any and all confidence I had gained the previous years while alone and on my own at college.

Oh and Hey, rent was steep in New York City – or so was the story I told myself (and others).

What followed were moments of isolation, sadness and desperation.

I had some savings and debated back-packing abroad, escaping on a life-changing diving adventure in Roatan, Honduras and forking over a large chunk of cash on a surfing retreat in Hawaii.

None of them happened.

They were all really wonderful things but just momentary escapes that I just simply never took action on because it didn’t seem like me.

Instead I immersed myself in dieting and exercise.

Some of it good, but most of it obsessive.

I have and will always be interested in healthy living, but at this low time, obsessive behavior took hold and it magnified tenfold.

I found myself treading water in my own eating disorders.

Soon, my interest and natural penchant for nutrition, wellness and fitness spiraled out of control and I experienced bouts of bingeing and purging, obsessive calorie-counting, alienating others because of my lack of self-esteem and racking up more credit-card debt than I care to remember.

When food was no longer my reward or escape, I gravitated towards “things” to fill the void.

Tears still flow down my face as I revisit this painful time.

My weight yo-yoed while my confidence remained low.

My feeling of being destined for greatness was especially lost during these times.

I really, TRULY, wanted to do, be and have some part in the health and wellness industry but I just couldn’t grasp onto anything that made sense to me.

I desperately wanted to help others but knew I had to help myself first.

That journey literally began as soon as I made a choice to become a health coach.

Soon after this, I was introduced to a way to fulfill all these things that I wanted by starting my own wellness business. You know the saying: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”?

The Universe and the stars had certainly aligned.

Because of this, many wonderful and amazing things happened.

BEST of all, I let go of 15 years of rollercoaster yo-yo weight loss/gain cycles.

I found a way to live my life around my passions and my thoughts, instead of around food.

The freedom this has brought me is inexplicable.

If you’re looking for a way, too, know that I can help.

Give yourself a gift this holiday season, and get back to YOU.

Food freedom is waiting for you.

Wishing you freedom, hope, and happiness,

xo,

Lindsay

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